Is it really worth it? That is the question I am asking myself nowadays. Nobody knows what is really happening to me or in my mind. Yes, I do have friends and family that I can talk to,but still I am trying to filter out what details I give out. I have lots of worries. I am afraid they would find out what am I really thinking. I am afraid to voice out whats inside of me. I am afraid I would hurt them, I would worry them and afraid they will turn their back on me.
I do not really know how I am going to express myself. I am afraid I will be judged so I am choosing to be quiet and just keep everything within me. But tonight, I will take this courage to tell it all.
Is everything I am doing really worth it? Is it really worth it to be away from my family and missed them? Is it really worth it that I chose to close my heart to those people who wanted to love me? Is it really worth it to leave everything behind and start my life here…These are the questions that I am yet to discover the answer. But whatever GOD has planned for me, I know he will only lead me to place where he thinks I will learn, grow and where I deserve to be in. It maybe taking time, lots of stress, anxieties and panic attack but he will never ever oversee me.
And I hope that you the one reading this, can take comfort in his promise that he will be here for us, guiding us and redirecting us to the right path. I really like this line from a movie that I recently watch, WE CAN CHOOSE TO SEE THE SITUATIONS WE ARE IN RIGHT NOW WITH SILVER LINING. It is an opportunity to grow, to develop new things, to discover and get to know more of who we are. I am always PRAYING to GOD to keep me sane and give me a kind heart. I’m praying that through this journey I will find my true purpose and I am very excited to know what God can do THROUGH me and hoping that at the end I will find the answer to my question.
Good night….
